Choosing the right doula was important to me, and I looked for a long time before meeting Delilah. A doula is your biggest advocate during delivery, and I wanted someone with the expertise to handle anything that came up, the empathy to sense my needs and respond to them, and the leadership skills to clearly state her views without being bossy.
During a meeting with a midwife, I mentioned my frustration in finding the right match and asked her for a suggestion. The midwife didn’t hesitate. “Call Delilah Ray,” she said. “Delilah is the best doula in all of DFW.”
I left a message on Delilah’s website and she called me that day. Almost immediately, I knew why the midwife had recommended her so highly. My pregnancy was complicated and there were a number of medical practitioners in the picture. Not only did Delilah know most of them, she also effortlessly tracked my complex story, asking well informed questions and providing valuable tips based on her experience assisting in over 500 births.
I hired her sight unseen.
Over the weeks that followed, my pregnancy story took many twists and turns. I had badly wanted to deliver in a birthing center, but as my medical condition became more iffy, that dream started to seem like an impossibility. I had a variety of doctors pressuring me to induce and I felt anxious and unsure of my path. Delilah was right there with me the whole time. She provided expert insight, and much needed support. “I’m on Team Erika,” she would say. “I will give you information but I’m not here to tell you what to do.”
When it became clear that I was going to have to be induced at the hospital, I relinquished my birthing center dream and embraced a new goal. I wanted a natural delivery. I knew it would be tricky with Pitocin, but it was important to me to be able to move around and feel my body pushing.
Active labor was quick—four hours—but extremely intense. Delilah was nothing short of brilliant. She had me change positions, applied counter pressure to my back, and spoke inspiring words of encouragement that reached me through the pain. She has a gift for knowing exactly what to say to a laboring mother, and I would have given up numerous times if it wasn’t for her coaching.
Toward the end, my contractions followed one on top of the other with an intensity that I thought would tear me apart. I yelled that I couldn’t go on and needed an epidural. Right Now. Delilah encouraged me to get through another few minutes, but then I really was spent. “It’s too much,” I told her. “I can’t go on.”
And here’s where expertise, empathy, and leadership makes the most critical difference. Delilah said, “Let’s have them check you one more time before you get the epidural. Can you hang on? I want to see where you are.” The doctor did an exam, and as Delilah rightly suspected, I was at 10 centimeters. Ready to push!
The delivery took an hour, and Delilah had me change positions numerous times. She had an uncanny sense of when a certain angle might be more productive, and the doctor and nursing staff accepted her suggestions without question. Delilah was invested as well, touchingly so. After one particularly grueling push, she turned to me with an expression of pure excitement and joy on her face. “I can see his head,” she said.
Three pushes later, Micah was born. Delilah’s happiness at his arrival was yet another unexpected benefit, and is an example of her kind heart and generous spirit.
The postpartum follow-up I received from Delilah was as helpful and empowering as the rest of our interactions, and I was left feeling that I could call on her any time. After working with Delilah Ray, I strongly believe the midwife was right, she is the best doula in all of DFW. Delilah was a crucial part of why my son’s birth went so well, and I am deeply grateful to have found her.